How I Found Happiness in Kenya

I have an amazing life. I knew this before I went to Kenya--I have a job I love, a wonderful husband, a great home, tons of amazing family and friends, I'm not in need...I've always felt blessed. But I've also experienced some big trials over the last couple of years...month after month I thought about God's joy and how I didn't think I was experiencing it enough in my life. I understand that God's joy is different than the world's cheap happiness because it is lasting and deep and can be experienced even in the hardest of times...that, thankfully, I did experience during those hard times. But still, I thought, I think there's more to it. Where's the happiness? I wanted to feel happy, cheerful, content with my life--someone who walks around smiling more. I wouldn't have guessed God would answer this request I made to feel happier in the slums of Kenya!

One day in Kenya as I was walking around the slums of Pangani, I stopped and thought, I feel happy. The reason it stopped me was because it felt so wrong in contrast with my surroundings! Children were running around dirty, sick and oddly clothed. Trash and sewage were lying everywhere. Men stood or sat around clearly not sober. Women tended to the work they had created for themselves in a meager attempt to take care of their families. It was not a happy place. There was much need, much suffering and pain. And yet...I felt it--happy. I could feel it around me in others on my team, too. I think I felt it at that moment because though we were in such a terrible, desolate place we were there doing something about it! We didn't have to just watch the sad kids on TV and wish we could help--we got to help! We were, in that moment, taking action and changing a portion of the world and it felt so good! Everything else was silent and I didn't think about any of my problems. We were about to offer to these Kenyans the chance to have hope! And later that week we would continue to minister to them tending to the sick, giving them gifts, building for their humble homes. We were truly helping them and we were working so closely with God to do so, and that is what made me happy in that moment. After I stopped to recognize this strangely ecstatic moment I was hooked and have been looking for them ever since. I felt that overwhelming happiness once again in Joska. Sitting in a field with 4 girls talking, spending time with them. I was so sick that day but it didn't matter--I could've stayed there for hours just being with those girls. I felt it other times in Kenya--on our Safari with the wind ripping through my hair and also while worshipping God in song with my team.

Now that I've been home I've felt this joy too--when surrounded by family or even in a simple moment of eating something delicious. God gave me those happy moments in Kenya which made me realize that I had to stop to notice them. It was actually easier for me to experience God's joy when I had less of my stuff and I was less comfortable...hmmm. Back home it has been harder to find these joyful moments but I know I need to be paying attention for them now so I'm trying to be on the lookout. Along with this joy has been more contentment. I've been much more aware of how blessed and fortunate I am. As I said, I knew it before I went to Kenya, but now thankfulness & God's praise comes out of my mouth more often for the things He has given me. I even feel lucky to realize how blessed I am! And this feeling of God's provision and blessing couldn't have come at a better time for me. I know this happiness I felt was truly God's joy. He has taught me to search out happiness in a way that makes Him proud instead of searching for just short term pleasure. I am not a born optimist--I've always said I'm a realist. I hate getting my hopes up only to dissapointed. I am not bubbly in nature, super enthusiastic, or the life of the party and it was important to me to pursue this happiness without being fake or someone I'm not. But I want joy and I want to be so full of joy that it exudes out to everyone around me, bringing them joy too! When God gave me that wonderfully happy moment in the Pangani slums it couldn't have been more perfectly suited for me. I often find joy in taking action and making things happen--in projects and productivity--and there we were, doing just that. God knew that about me, His creation, and hand-picked that joyful moment just for me. At some point before I went to Kenya, I asked God about joy and how I could be more joyful. And I've found when we ask God to make us more like He wants us to be He always answers--you just won't know where or when. :)

-Laura